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You have been through it a thousand times before. You are trying to be helpful and compassionate and the person you are helping is being a complete downer! It is a hard concept to understand. Many people give and give but never receive, while the other people take and take and never give. Not only do you have to deal with not receiving but you are getting an attitude at the same time. What is this all about?
The giving in return of receiving their gift, is the gratitude you show the person you are with. Did you thank them for calling you or for a wonderful dinner, or did you complain about how full you were after you ate? The gratitude you show is best served before any kind of critical statement is made. Critical statements in general should be avoided. Focus on the positive things that are happening and make sure your date is taking notice too.
Another scenario to address is when you are actually in a relationship. Let's say you have been dating for a month or two. You are always the one to initiate the call or arrange the date. This is very draining on a relationship. The energy must flow and if one person is always the one giving the energy will clog up. Look at it like this; say you have a bucket and a faucet. The faucet is releasing water into the bucket and the bucket is just filling up. If the bucket doesn't put some of the water back into the well, the faucet will dry up. That is what happens when someone is giving too much of themselves and not getting anything in return. They are drained of their energy and their feeling of love and excitement dry up. The relationship becomes stale. That is usually when the relationship ends or worse yet, continues on a path of stale, lopsided emotions.
This misconception of giving and taking happens very often in partnerships. Let's say you are interested in dating someone. That person is showing you interest in return. They call you, ask you out for dinner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and then out of the blue it stops. You start to wonder what it was you did wrong. Was it something you said or did that made them not like you anymore? No,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you were receiving but not giving in return. Now don't misunderstand this giving in return scenario, you don't have to be giving into to sexual situations. That is a different kind of giving,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is called sharing.
It is an interesting topic. Giving and receiving is one of the most important issues a relationship and people in relationships must master. This is not an easy thing to do as most people are taught "it is better to give than receive." This is a complete misunderstanding. Yes, it is important to give but you MUST be willing to receive as well. Do you go to dinner with friends and when the bill comes you argue about them trying to pay? Most people don't let someone pay for them. What you are doing is not receiving a gift they are offering. Relationship need this cycle of give and take to grow.
When you see yourself going in one of these directions it is time to take some time to figure out what you need to do. If you are feeling entitled it is time for you to stop and give something to your partner. It could be as simple as a back-rub or doing the dishes for them. If you are feeling drained or tired it is time to ask your partner to help you in some way. It is ok to ask someone to give something to you. If you want a back-rub ask. One thing, if you always have to ask for your partner to give to you something it maybe time to look at why
What kind of relationship do you want? Are you willing to give and receive? Think about this. It is important to know where you stand in both areas. If you give too much you will constantly be drained and confused about the relationship. If you are receiving too much you will become entitled and prone to give attitude to your partner because you know they will put up with it and you are taking advantage of that. When you are doing both giving and receiving you will feel energized and uplifted. The relationship will feel refreshing.