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Tools for Parenting Teenagers
Whether a parenting contract is in place with your teen or you are just parenting on common sense, discipline is your responsibility to help teenagers learn the consequences of their actions.
If a contract is in place, review the stated consequence and see how the punishment has met the goals of the agreement between you and your teenager. Remember,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if the behavior occurred requiring your contracted response, you have helped your teenager learn a lesson that can be applied to all future behavior.
Very few parents feel good after laying down the consequences for negative teen behavior. However, they should remember they have held up their end of parenting responsibility, examine the emotions they are experiencing, and find support from their partner or other adult peer in reviewing the punishment.
Punishment Holds Up Your End of the Parenting Agreement
If the emotions expressed between parent and teenager became extremely raw in the moment, parents may want to take a cooling off period for both themselves and their teenager. Taking five minutes in a quiet place can help parents regain composure. During this time try to focus on the goals of parenting, the content of the contract,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if any, and the duty to be a parent first and friend second.
If a contract is not in place, you still have a duty to invoke punishment in the face of unacceptable behavior. It is one of the duties parents have to their children and to all of society so the teenager grows up to be a responsible adult aware of their actions and its effects on others. You may wish to contract with your teenager for future actions and consequences.
Parents may feel both remorse and guilt after defining a punishment and,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if so, they need to examine the roots of the emotions. A certain amount of guilt is normal, however prolonged feelings of regret or depression may indicate a problem in either the content of the discipline or the time frame it lasts.
Emotions Often Run High during Punishment
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