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2. Shift your focus inward- Tune into your own feelings. By noticing what thoughts and feelings come up during the day: we experience a wide range of feelings during the day take note!
6. Make a list of the feelings that have come up during week one and make a second list of the needs you have identified. Compare the two lists. Determine whether there are any connections between your feelings and your needs. Make a commitment to work on the areas where your needs and feelings meet.
5. Identify your personal needs (i.e. being loved, recognized, correct,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], valued, acknowledged, respected). Are your needs being met? (Hint: When you do not get our needs met, you are running on empty looking to others to fill you up which may cause conflict.)
8. Communicate your feelings as a means of improving the relationship. Open a dialogue using I statements,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], i.e. I feel annoyed when you consistently draw attention to my age because it is a sore subject for me. Or I appreciate it when you ask how my career is going.
4. As you are paying close attention to this relationship survey the quality of your interaction: a) what kinds of feelings come up b) how do you feel when you leave an interaction with this person c) do any pet peeves or hot buttons get pushed, if so which ones.
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9. Maintain your balance- respond rather than react. It is easy to fly off the handle especially when someone hits one of your sore spots. Rather than risk damaging the relationship, take a deep breath and a moment to think about what the best course of action or communication will be.
10. Embrace your personal power- by honoring yourself and your values. If you value respect, honesty, and acknowledgement make sure you give these qualities to your relationships.
1. Keep a journal to document feelings, thoughts, and growth during this exercise. Journal each night and document your experience during this process.
3. Choose one relationship to focus on for the next 2 weeks- it may be your relationship with your boss, your significant other,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or friend.
7. Be compassionate with yourself. Often, we need to work on the same issues many times. Beating yourself up because you haven't made the progress that you would like disempowers and discourages your efforts to move forward. In addition, it is not uncommon to feel as if you are finished with an issue only to have it resurface. When this happens, simply acknowledge,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], accept, and make choices about how you want to proceed.