www.bewet.fora.pl

681638787

This morning my 10 year old daughter wouldn't get ready for school. She woke up on time as per usual,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], however she seemed to potter around in her room for ages. I went and knocked on her door a couple of times, reminding her of the time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but to no avail.
It was 7.55am when I finally turned up the pressure by saying to her, "OK, Becky, if you want a lift to school I am leaving at 8.15am. You have 20 minutes to get dressed, have breakfast and pack your bag". Then I went away again.
Finally at about 8.15am she emerged, and all of a sudden was rushing around furiously trying to be ready on time. But I stuck to my guns. I said to her, "It's a pity you won't have time to have breakfast now",[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and went to the car. Becky followed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], shoes and socks in her hand as they hadn't been put on yet.
I drove her to school and there was not much conversation. I stopped at the gate, she got out and that was about all. Becky seemed to be testing me this morning to see if I would stick to my boundaries. I think she found out the answer to that one. Poor Becky had to go hungry until morning break as she hadn't eaten any breakfast.
Sometimes I find that my kids try to control me by being stubborn in a certain area. This morning it was Becky in not wanting to get ready for school. She now knows that if she makes bad choices in the morning and isn't ready to go on time, I will not wait for her. What a valuable lesson for her to learn.
I know this seems harsh but I had to go to work this morning and I could not have Becky holding me up. She also has a responsibility to the school to arrive on time. And when she is late I leave it up to the school to give her a consequence.
We need to allow our children to learn through their mistakes. I could have easily whipped up some breakfast or waited another 3 minutes for Becky. But the issue here was that Becky knew the boundaries and still defied me by being on a "go slow" to purposely try to annoy me.
The end result? It didn't annoy me but inconvenienced her. She had to go hungry for most of the morning. I wouldn't mind betting that she won't do that again in a hurry. Why? Because she was allowed to suffer the consequences of her actions.
I understand that as parents we like to rescue your kids but we are doing them a disservice if we continually rescue them from themselves. Let your child experience the consequences of their actions today and they will be a better person for it tomorrow.
The manageress and a guy behind a till were the only people in the shop and I made my way to the walk-in beer fridge at the back. Over the months they had got to know me well and no doubt had their own thoughts about me. But I was probably one of their best customers so they always treated me politely. They could not have failed to notice the huge amounts of booze that I was buying.As I made my way to the beer fridge the shop assistant appeared out of nowhere and greeted me. "Sawubona," he said. He seemed to stare right into my very soul. I wondered what was he thinking. He sometimes helped me to the car and today would be no different. No doubt I was a shock to him as well. Maybe I was too paranoid. Sure I was gaunt, filthy and sickly-looking but then maybe there were plenty of people like me coming in and out of the bottle store every day. Maybe all that intrigued them was where the money was coming from. That must be a mystery as I looked like a typical down and out. Bugger it. Let them ponder.
The cold beer fridge revived me a little and I always stayed a couple of minutes longer than necessary. I found my beer and asked the assistant to help me carry the case to the till. There I fumbled for the money and handed it over to the guy. He remained silent and passed me the change which I gave to the assistant. He mumbled a quiet "Siyabonga,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," and carried the case to the car.I felt that I had no choice any more. The liquor consumed all my mental and physical energy. The people who came and went in my life saw me as a babbling wreck. I comforted myself with the thought that they should see me when I was deprived of my beers.I stopped at the fridge long enough to sink a cold one and then walked into the office. My entrance went unnoticed and only Mary looked up and asked how I was feeling. Plonking myself down,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I couldn't fail to notice that it had turned into a lovely day.