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Lonely

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a man walking in the University of the dark avenue. Very few days is very low. Clothing or jewelry, the wind blowing gently swaying despair, heavy pressure in my shoulder bag breath.
I always like to walk alone in this very wide avenue, the road is long, so I can immersed in the world of thought. Aloof personality that I always like loneliness, always like the things around him indifferent to his world likes to freeze up.
do not know when someone patted my shoulder, I homeopathic back, I saw a familiar face of hate. He told Mrs Kylie I grew up the only friend, but I do not like him. I grew up is a helpful child, of course, Du earnest, too, with his humility when I would give him, but he did not know how to return. Over time he and the granting of such humility as a matter of course, as I have for him to do. Every time he raised my mouth to ask, I want to break his jaw wielded fist, but I do not, maybe I do not want to lose this too lonely so boring friendship.
He lit a cigarette the other hand holding a cigarette in front of me shook, I never smoked cigarettes, to help me buy a bag?
... ...
suddenly clenched my fist to his right cheek to shake off, I heard a muffled, and he fell to the ground. I saw a drop of blood splashed out across a beautiful arc dropping to the ground.
face emerging out of comfortable smile and rode away. I used to go to the underground
cafes, I like it very much, because you will always be here, surrounded by darkness. People around who will not ask you, why this, why not go home so late. They just aimlessly in the nothingness of the network to find themselves lost in reality.
bought a pack of cigarettes, to a dark corner of my own. Yang Yan met halfway, and she is my girlfriend, but said it should be more precise point of my vent.
first time I saw here she is, she sat next to me, I have long noticed her.
heavy Gothic clothing, jewelry exaggerated, messy hair, scattered at random in the shoulder, leaving the sea covered a large of his face, drew a foul blood makeup as thick smoke, but not cover her melancholy eyes. There are numerous two arms of smoke scars, like the bar along the glamorous sea snakes on the climb. Perhaps the only reason I fell in love with her is her strong sense of cigarettes and a mixed with the pungent smell of perfume, she is the first I've seen so decadent and beautiful woman.
soon we met, and soon we fell in love, and soon we went to bed, really fast, fast I did not think of. **** Together then become our only reason I ****, hotel door in any place, at home, Internet cafes, toilets and even the golf course side of the bench. We do not have much language, would not say sweet things to please each other, hear each other, perhaps the most lingering in bed groan between pedicle. Together more often are silent, sunk. Until the silence.
and now she is dressed like her and a man kiss with exaggeration. I am not angry, because this is not the first time, after it's happened every time she would come to me and asked me to take her cigarette and then let me go, take her out of here, around a heart able to accommodate our two evils place.
different this time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], after she saw me come straight to me.
picked up my cigarette out on a table, lighted smoking. I did not see her, just doing my thing. Is immense silence.
Suddenly she began, I'm pregnant, not you, I want to destroy it.
rise, standing face to face,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], her blue eyes never wrapped the ice melted.
got up and took out the wallet, pulled out with only a hundred dollars and handed her the remaining two condoms, since they pay attention.
hands in the air stagnation and sad sound volume being sucked into the bitter air.
walked on as if to see a drop of liquid crystal slide down from her cheeks, dripping in red on a hundred notes. Gradually penetrate, without leaving a trace.
now I may only touch of home to let me feel the warmth, but still home? I asked myself more than once.
when I was very young my father and a voluptuous woman ran away, I can not anymore news of him. Long ago a father's friend said the woman swept away his money, can not stand against suicide, he hanged,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the body also has not seen, so that nothing.
father left her mother in the year to go out to work, and did not back off.
handedly brought my grandmother, the grandmother hated me because she thinks my father's departure caused. So that they separated,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and now it is alive or dead do not know. I do not blame her do this to me, because I doubt I should not live in this world. I have struggled pain, perhaps due to my really, really is my fault.
grandmother a year ago, a stroke paralyzed on the bed, six months ago, she could still speak but also to eat, but now can not do anything, and in the hospital by the oxygen tube and an intravenous drip to maintain the only life.
prepare meals at home there after her grandmother's favorite rice porridge, maybe this is not her favorite, but now she can eat more, but I think that is wishful her favorite.
casually ate the food went to the hospital to her grandmother meal, every day, boring and mechanical. Grandma is very old ward
, because we have long time did not pay for the doctor fees. Into the dark room, the window is sunset, under the gray clouds from the slight thinning revealed Hongxia.
help the grandmother sat up, little by little under the diluted feed her soup. She used to take care of me, even I feed her habit of eating what I do not look the other way.
grandmother is really weak, thin body, irregular breathing, and that slack in the eyes. Perhaps her time is really running out.
When I put the last spoonful of soup in her mouth, suddenly her brown hand grabbed my collar, face the pain of looking at the ceiling, her eyes slowly toward me. Anger, despair, disgust reflected in the eyes of intertwined between my Double Vision, and finally, after struggling under a number of stopped breathing.
me blankly sitting on the bed, gently grasping clawed through that branch of the dead hand of Jin Jinzuan in the collar in his hand, bowed his head slowly snout of the dead branches that have some cold.
got up and knelt Road in the bed for her three cigarettes lit in the edge of the bed insert.
no excessive language, no tears, no regrets. I have no hesitation to turn out of the ward.
dragged his exhausted body back to that home is not home thoroughly. Touched the bed like a section of the line of the puppet that collapsed in bed.
hand slowly moved to the pillow *** out of the already prepared. Not too many worries, and this world has left me not to worry about any thing. Turning upward,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], together with all the white pills to swallow.
Ce Guotou looking out the window, the clouds have been dispersed quietly escaping the stars. Beautiful.
gradually getting heavier and heavier eyelids, but I do not want to close them, I would like to look at these stars. White, bright, free of stars, but I compromised. The body becoming more and more heavy, a little bit of immersion, a little bit deep, a little bit of sinking, sinking until the dead silence.
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