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Imagine you walk into a shop and you see a dress. You try it on and it looks good. You think, "Maybe I'll buy it, but do I have the right shoes for it?". Then you look at the price tag and see that it's marked "final sale". "Hmmm" you think. "Great dress. But if I buy it, I can't return it". So you put the dress back and walk out of the shop.
Now imagine that you walk into the shop and you see a baby. You think "I'd like to have a baby, but is now a good time?". Then you look at the bracelet on the baby's foot and it's marked "yours for life". "Hmmm" you think. "I'll take it".
That's the thing about having a baby. We don't get to try motherhood on to see how it fits. Once we're a mum, we're in it for life. Mostly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we're at peace with this. Our child smiles at us or bounces up and down with excitement about something they simply must tell us, and all is right with our world. But there are times when motherhood gets under our skin. Exhibit A - my five year old son who lately insists on saying "mummy" over and over until I give him the answer he wants, not the answer I've already given him. And it's not "mummy". It's "MUMMEEEYA, MUMMEEEYA, MUMMEEEYA." But,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], just when I think I'm going to lose my cool he says "I love you",[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and I'm back to thinking what a cool thing being a mum is.
Lately, I've started actively looking for opportunities to appreciate the joy of being a mum. I may have no choice whether I feel like being a mum on any particular day, but as Judith M. Knowlton said "I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude". So I ask myself, what attitude am I taking right now. And when my attitude isn't working, I try to step back and make a choice to do something different. The other day I was stressed and rushing to get out the door when my daughter wanted a cuddle. Instead of begging her to please just get in the car (sound familiar!), I stopped, cuddled her and said something funny just to see her cute dimple and the twinkle in her eyes. And I felt better.
Positive psychologists call this savoring. Savoring is the awareness of pleasure and of giving deliberate conscious attention to the experience of pleasure. We can savor the present by enjoying activities as they happen. We can savor past experiences by recalling them positively. And, we can savor the future by anticipating upcoming events. According to positive psychologist,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Robert Biswas-Diener, and coach, Ben Dean,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a person capable of savoring the past effectively,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], enjoying the present, and maintaining hope for the future "can reap a bountiful psychological harvest including high life satisfaction, happiness and optimal functioning". So why not give it a try today?